Funny Kids Poems: Gone
I'm in a disappearing plight,
My thumb just vanished out of sight,
But here's the more alarming clue,
The rest of me is going too.
I lost my hands, I'm sad to say
And felt my forearms flit away,
It's rather problematic how,
My upper limbs are nothing now.
I squinted down, amazed to see,
The carpet where my feet should be,
My legs were there, but nothing more,
Suspended inches from the floor.
My legs dissolved, they didn't last,
By now I'm fading fairly fast,
I'm hardly here, it's clear to me
That I will shortly cease to be.
Funny Kids Poems
My thumb just vanished out of sight,
But here's the more alarming clue,
The rest of me is going too.
I lost my hands, I'm sad to say
And felt my forearms flit away,
It's rather problematic how,
My upper limbs are nothing now.
I squinted down, amazed to see,
The carpet where my feet should be,
My legs were there, but nothing more,
Suspended inches from the floor.
My legs dissolved, they didn't last,
By now I'm fading fairly fast,
I'm hardly here, it's clear to me
That I will shortly cease to be.
Funny Kids Poems
Without my legs, I drift in place,
A floating torso with a face,
But scarcely do I stop to yawn,
I sense my upper body's gone.
Below my head, above the ground,
There's really nothing else around,
And now it comes as no surprise,
I'm just a pair of beady eyes.
In half a wink, I'm well aware,
I'm smaller than a speck of air,
That's all she wrote, I'm gone, because
There's none of me where once there was.
Without a body, head, or shoe,
There's very little left to do,
But form a microscopic smile
And ponder nothingness awhile.
© 2009 John Brassey
A floating torso with a face,
But scarcely do I stop to yawn,
I sense my upper body's gone.
Below my head, above the ground,
There's really nothing else around,
And now it comes as no surprise,
I'm just a pair of beady eyes.
In half a wink, I'm well aware,
I'm smaller than a speck of air,
That's all she wrote, I'm gone, because
There's none of me where once there was.
Without a body, head, or shoe,
There's very little left to do,
But form a microscopic smile
And ponder nothingness awhile.
© 2009 John Brassey
Funny Kids Poems: The Poem That Doesn't Rhyme At All
The poem that doesn’t rhyme at all
Is not too short
And not to skinny.
It’s not too tall
And not too big,
It’s got no hair and wears a toupee.
It’s not too smart
It aint too dumb,
It has four fingers and a right hand.
It’s not too mean
And not that nice,
And in its scalp it’s got some dandruff.
It’s not too lax
And not too tense,
And this poem doesn’t make much meaning.
© 2002 John Brassey
Is not too short
And not to skinny.
It’s not too tall
And not too big,
It’s got no hair and wears a toupee.
It’s not too smart
It aint too dumb,
It has four fingers and a right hand.
It’s not too mean
And not that nice,
And in its scalp it’s got some dandruff.
It’s not too lax
And not too tense,
And this poem doesn’t make much meaning.
© 2002 John Brassey
Funny Kids Poems: I'm Sinking I'm Sinking
I’m sinking I’m sinking
I’ve spotted a leak,
My boat is submerging
My future is bleak.
I’m losing momentum
And starting to slug,
I’ve spotted more holes
Then I’ll possibly plug.
I’m sinking I’m sinking,
I’m simply aghast,
I’m taking on water
And taking it fast.
Although I’ve used buckets
A mop, and a sponge,
I fear that I’m facing
A permanent plunge.
Funny Kids Poems
I’ve spotted a leak,
My boat is submerging
My future is bleak.
I’m losing momentum
And starting to slug,
I’ve spotted more holes
Then I’ll possibly plug.
I’m sinking I’m sinking,
I’m simply aghast,
I’m taking on water
And taking it fast.
Although I’ve used buckets
A mop, and a sponge,
I fear that I’m facing
A permanent plunge.
Funny Kids Poems
I’m sinking I’m sinking
I’m barely afloat,
For water has filled
My unfortunate boat.
It burst through the bottom
And flooded the deck,
I’m standing in ocean
That’s up to my neck.
I’m sinking I’m sinking
I’m losing my grip,
I’m sensing it’s time
To abandon the ship.
I’m quickly concluding
The oceans and seas,
Don’t mix with a mouse
In a boat of Swiss cheese.
© 2007 John Brassey
I’m barely afloat,
For water has filled
My unfortunate boat.
It burst through the bottom
And flooded the deck,
I’m standing in ocean
That’s up to my neck.
I’m sinking I’m sinking
I’m losing my grip,
I’m sensing it’s time
To abandon the ship.
I’m quickly concluding
The oceans and seas,
Don’t mix with a mouse
In a boat of Swiss cheese.
© 2007 John Brassey
Funny Kids Poems: Insulting
At oral encounters
I’m bad as can be,
No person alive
Is as lethal as me.
A turn of the head
And a move of my jaw,
Is all that it takes
For a foe to withdraw.
My patter produces
A humorous spin,
While cutting through egos
Like paper on skin.
And often at random
My zingers disperse,
Unbidden opinions
Make everything worse.
I’m bad as can be,
No person alive
Is as lethal as me.
A turn of the head
And a move of my jaw,
Is all that it takes
For a foe to withdraw.
My patter produces
A humorous spin,
While cutting through egos
Like paper on skin.
And often at random
My zingers disperse,
Unbidden opinions
Make everything worse.
It’s foolish to lingually
Leap by surprise,
I’m constantly ready
With witty replies.
Recalling one liners
And comebacks with haste,
I insert a put-down
That’s perfectly placed.
No matter the setting,
Engagement, or day,
I’m certain to have
Something clever to say.
So scurry, skedaddle,
And bid me ado,
Before I incessantly
Irritate you.
© 2005 John Brassey
Leap by surprise,
I’m constantly ready
With witty replies.
Recalling one liners
And comebacks with haste,
I insert a put-down
That’s perfectly placed.
No matter the setting,
Engagement, or day,
I’m certain to have
Something clever to say.
So scurry, skedaddle,
And bid me ado,
Before I incessantly
Irritate you.
© 2005 John Brassey
